Saturday, April 23, 2011


Hi, "Betty" here.  Sorry it has been like over a week since I have said anything on here.  As "C" said it was our anniversary this past week!  It was amazing to be able to celebrate 7 wonderful years with the best person I know.  So, between Passover at the In-laws and our anniversary, it made for a week with very little down time.  Anyway, I have been thinking about my past a lot recently.  I don't know what set me off, but it had me thinking about my Mom and high school and old friends.  I was especially focusing on a teacher who really was like my mentor through high school and my first year of college.  I was at one point an art major, well art education major.  So, not really good enough for fine arts, but still artsy and somewhat talented.  In high school I lived in the art room and my art teacher was one of my best friends.  I came out to her before I came out to any other adult and she helped me through.  She left my high school and started teaching art ed at the college that I wanted to go to during my senior year of high school.  I was upset that she was leaving me in my most important year, but it was pretty awesome when she was one of my professors in college.  Then I came out to my parents and ended up going through a lot of drama and was kind of an emotional wreck for a while.  My work started hardcore dropping and so there were strains on our professional relationship, which turned into strains on our personal relationship.  I ended up changing my major and we just didn't see each other again.  I always felt bad that I had let someone who had done so much for me just drift away.  In my defense, it was a REALLY rough period.  I think I only passed one class that next semester.  I eventually recovered and came out the other side with a degree in communications.  Anyway, I had been thinking a lot about this lost friend and mentor so I looked her up online and called her.  I am not sure what I was expecting.  The last time we talked it was about my drop in work quality and that I was changing majors.  But it was awkward and kind of cold, not the warm loving person I remember.  I guess I was kind of stuck in the past and I suppose that there is an amount of time that becomes too great to overcome and say what should have been said long ago.  I said that I just had been thinking of her and that I really wanted her to know that even though I let the ball drop I appreciated everything she did for me back then.  She thanked me, said it was nice for me to call and to drop her an email sometime.  I am not sure what I was searching for, but I didn't find it.  Something that was supposed to make me happier has actually made me feel really sad...

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