Thursday, April 7, 2011

A Little Bitter Today...

I'm starting to get really fucking bitter about straight weddings and marriages.  I'm so SICK of seeing pictures of people's weddings on facebook, and how happy they are, and all the congratulatory posts on their wall.  I'm sick of having to attend weddings, engagement parties, and bridal showers.  I'm sick of smiling and pretending to be happy about how fortunate they are that their friends and families, and the government, want to recognize and celebrate their union.  I know I should be happy for them, and I truly am happy for anyone who can find happiness in this life, but I find the inequality of it really hurtful and upsetting.  And then these lucky straight people always have to find something to complain about.  Their dress wasn't perfect, the photographer sucked, the DJ played a song they didn't like... It frustrates me that people can't seem to understand how we feel.  When I told my mother I wanted to marry B (or are we calling her Betty now?), she literally asked me WHY I wanted to get married.  If we were a straight couple together for 7 years, people would be asking us why we WEREN'T married already!  When my (straight) sister got engaged, my mother told everyone she ever met in the world and has never been happier.  Yes, I AM happy for my sister and her fiance, but I want people to be happy for me also...

5 comments:

  1. I could have written this. How do you think I feel after forty-seven years of living with the same man (who we will call Bill because that is his name)? Yes, it is frustrating and I do get bitter with what many straights just take for granted. What really gets me is when I told my neighbor that maybe Bill and I could get offically married before we died. Her very serious question was "Why then who would be the woman?" I told her "None. We're both men." The look on her face...utter confusion. The poor straights. They're so brainwashed that they think one HAS to be the woman and the other the man.

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  2. I can't even imagine how that feels. 47 years! That's amazing! (LOL at the "because that's his name)

    I hate when people ask stupid questions like that. We get "well who wears the pants in the relationship?" or "which one of you is the man and which one is the woman?"

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  3. Just to be clear, there are many straight allies out there as well! And I'm one of them. However, SO MANY straight people take for granted the institution of marriage. I can't even imagine the frustration. This marginalization HAS to stop.

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  4. I agree with you 100%! I have had friends and family ask why I would want to marry my partner of 6 years when things are just fine as they are. It's true, our lives are not going to dramatically change if we get married legally but shouldn't it be our choice if we choose to get married or not. No one tells heteros that they can't get married even though god knows some shouldn't! I'm tired of hearing me getting married is a detriment to straight marriages in America. If me getting married to my partner is going to cause a problem in your marriage, you shouldn't be married to begin with.

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  5. Jaime, Of course! We love our straight allies. And, since straight people obviously are the large majority, we need our straight allies. It's the straight people who don't understand or respect our relationships that are making me angry.

    paradykes, nice to meet you, thanks for stopping by. I agree, whether or not we get married really has no impact on anyone except us. And, the rights, protections, and just good feelings that come with marriage would definitely improve our lives.

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